"You know how you've been wearing my boxers to bed at night? Yea, not sexy. You need to do something about that."
Those words came out of my husband's mouth just a few months ago, right before I started doing boudoir photography, and honestly, I was dumbfounded. I wanted to say "Excuse me?? Well neither is that ...... about you!!!" but I didn't. What I DID do was start thinking about how comfortable I had become in my marriage and why it was hurting us. I had been plucking stray hairs and "nairing" my upper lip in front of my husband for years, and although it was nice to know that he wasn't judging me for doing so, at the same time, I was damaging the image I really wanted him to have of me as his sexy, playful wife. I needed to bring my sexy back.
A woman once told me "Nichole, you need to keep some mystery in your marriage. Your husband doesn't always need to see you shave your legs, or do your nails. Just let him think that's the way you ARE." I want you to re-read that sentence and understand that it is one of the BEST pieces of advice anyone has ever given me, and now I am giving it to you. In order to bring your sexy back, you need to keep some mystery about you.
It doesn't have to be secretive, but think about what you do in front of your significant other before you do it. If what you're about to do is something you would have taken great lengths to avoid having him see you do during your first few months of dating, then wait until he's not around. If you want to work out, go to the gym when he's not there (or home if you're not a fan of having strangers look at you while you get sweaty and stinky). If you really need to wax your lip, have it done when you schedule your pedicure. But for God's sake, don't nair your lip in front of your husband... what the hell was I thinking?
By just paying attention to these small little things, you will start bringing just a teeny bit of mystery back into your relationship, and your sexy will be following right behind it.
In my opinion, the same goes for boudoir photography. When you're thinking about your session, don't assume that you have to come strutting in here with nothing but your birthday suit on. I'm not a fan of completely nude photography, and I personally don't enjoy looking at anyone's nipples, even my own. So let's keep those babies covered with a pretty white sheet, textured throw, or even just your hands. There's a fine line between classy, tasteful boudoir and well.. not. Keeping just a little mystery about you will really impact the overall feel of your photos.
Are you ready to bring YOUR sexy back? Click the box below and see why YOU need to do this.